I have an issue with the letter "j." You may be thinking to yourself that is an absurd comment to make. My name does not contain the letter "j." Many great words contain the letter "j" such as joy, juxtaposition, jump, jelly, and a variety of names that begin with "J." Despite the fact that I love to use the word juxtaposition at any possibly appropriate moment, the "j" continues to plague me.
Many eons ago, when I was living in the college dorms the keyboard of my laptop decided to reject the "j" key. I would be typing and the "j" key would go flying across the room. My roommate was always amused at me cursing under my breath at the key that made it impossible to type many words.
Now, that issue lasted a while and then I decided to get a new keyboard. My dad replaced it and everything was hunky dory. I typed words containing the letter "J" to my hearts content and no keys went flying. Then my print screen key disappeared. This wasn't a major concern of mine considering that I don't believe I've ever used the print screen key. Then, I realized that my warranty was almost up, so I decided to have my keyboard replaced again while I didn't have to pay for it.
That's where everything took a turn for the worse. My friend kindly replaced my keyboard for me as I was too afraid I'd break something. As soon as it was "fixed" all hell broke loose. The "j" key was on a mission to make typing anything impossible. Now the key doesn't go flying. It just adds a "j" into whatever I'm typing whenever it pleases. If I am typing and pause too long I'll get jjj. Or, sometimes I'll get a "j" in the middle of random words. Occasionally if I used my computer to input grades, I'll enter things like 10j or 11.jj5. (I actually only typed one of those "j"s on purpose.) My favorite is when I go type in a password and among all the ********** a little innocent letter "J" sneaks it's way in.
In this blog alone I deleted about 15 superfluous letter js. Apparently my keyboard is rebelling and I don't know how to make it stop. I want to blame my keyboard replacer, but he claims it is user error. I disagree, it's probably a faulty keyboard. Nevertheless, I'm just done with all these extra js. It makes editing a nightmare.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The Curse of the Crane
I believe I am cursed. Something you need to realize about me before reading this, is that I am not a superstitious person. I don't believe black cats are bad luck. I open umbrellas inside and I've walked under ladders. Sometimes it amuses me when I do these things when truly superstitious people freak out. Now that you know this again. I will repeat my previous statement. I believe I am cursed. The bad luck of the Sandhill Crane has descended upon me.
Let's take a walk back in time so I can explain how I've come to this unusual conclusion.
When I was in high school, I developed a fear of birds. Most fears I have developed early in my life, falling from high places, spiders, etc. Nothing super unusual. However, this fear of birds has plagued me for several years now. This is how it all started....
There is a large number of sandpipers and other birds in my parent's neighborhood. If you've never had the pleasure of encountering a sandpiper, I will inform you of how stupid these birds are. They build their nests on the ground in the gravel. Their eggs look like gravel and therefore become camouflaged. It probably has to do with protecting their eggs, but I think they're just asking for people to step on them so they can't continue to reproduce. Anyway...one particularly brilliant sandpiper thought it prudent to build it's nest next to our mailbox, which is located just slightly down and across the street from our house. Whenever I would go to get the mail, the bird would swoop down from the sky and attack my head because by reaching into the mailbox I was clearly making an effort to crush it's moronically placed eggs.
This single instance of mail retrieving turned into a war on my being near the mailbox. It got to the point that I had to get the mail from inside my car because the bird wouldn't swoop down in a nose dive at my vehicle. Nevertheless, this instance caused my terrific fear of birds.
I will admit (though my mother would probably disagree) that this fear has gotten better. I can now be outdoors in the same general vicinity as a winged creature. However, I don't plan on walking into any aviaries any time in the near future.
Now, back to the matter at hand, the curse of the Sandhill Crane.
At the school in which I teach, there is a Sandhill Crane that lives nearby or at the very least uses our playground area as his hangout spot. If you aren't familiar with this creature, it's like a giant sandpiper. This bird is three feet tall. Now you might say to yourself, Sara, you are an intelligent woman and over five feet tall. Clearly you should have no issue with a smaller creature. However, you would be wrong. It is completely unnatural for a bird to be three feet tall. It is horrifying.
Let me take you back to St. Patrick's day. I arrived at school and went to walk in my usual door, when I noticed Dear Mr. Crane standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR! Now, being that I am mortified of this giant creature there was no way I would be the one shooing him out of the way. That would require walking right at him which would mean the only place for him to fly would be toward me. I don't think so. My logical course of action was to continue walking to the lower level entrance down a large hill and completely out of the direction I was going. I didn't mind however, it was a better alternative than duking it out with the crane. Now for the bad luck part-I was on after school supervision that afternoon when I a student push another student into me and caused me to re-injure a sprained ankle. Case of bad luck number one.
I would have normally assumed these were isolated incidents until yesterday....
I was driving home from a soccer game and talking to my mother on the phone when a rock came flying out of nowhere and chipped my windshield. Now this normally wouldn't be more than a horribly annoying bit of bad luck, except that last week due to hail damage I just had the windshield replaced on my car. After having my new windshield for five days, I now have a fairly sizable chip in the glass. It wasn't long after this occurred that I recalled yesterday morning the crane was basking in the sunshine in front of my door again. He was then chased down the hill after me by a student (we all know I wouldn't have attempted to go through the door). Now, I know logically the bird wasn't chasing me as much as it was being chased, but nevertheless, it was horrifying.
These two incidents of bad luck are proof that seeing the crane outside of my entrance into school. is a bad omen. Being that this is the case, I have no decided to always use the front entrance, where the crane does not fly, sit, land, bask, or do any other crane-esque activities. Please beware of Sandhill Cranes, my bad luck could rub off on you.
Let's take a walk back in time so I can explain how I've come to this unusual conclusion.
When I was in high school, I developed a fear of birds. Most fears I have developed early in my life, falling from high places, spiders, etc. Nothing super unusual. However, this fear of birds has plagued me for several years now. This is how it all started....
There is a large number of sandpipers and other birds in my parent's neighborhood. If you've never had the pleasure of encountering a sandpiper, I will inform you of how stupid these birds are. They build their nests on the ground in the gravel. Their eggs look like gravel and therefore become camouflaged. It probably has to do with protecting their eggs, but I think they're just asking for people to step on them so they can't continue to reproduce. Anyway...one particularly brilliant sandpiper thought it prudent to build it's nest next to our mailbox, which is located just slightly down and across the street from our house. Whenever I would go to get the mail, the bird would swoop down from the sky and attack my head because by reaching into the mailbox I was clearly making an effort to crush it's moronically placed eggs.
This single instance of mail retrieving turned into a war on my being near the mailbox. It got to the point that I had to get the mail from inside my car because the bird wouldn't swoop down in a nose dive at my vehicle. Nevertheless, this instance caused my terrific fear of birds.
I will admit (though my mother would probably disagree) that this fear has gotten better. I can now be outdoors in the same general vicinity as a winged creature. However, I don't plan on walking into any aviaries any time in the near future.
Now, back to the matter at hand, the curse of the Sandhill Crane.
At the school in which I teach, there is a Sandhill Crane that lives nearby or at the very least uses our playground area as his hangout spot. If you aren't familiar with this creature, it's like a giant sandpiper. This bird is three feet tall. Now you might say to yourself, Sara, you are an intelligent woman and over five feet tall. Clearly you should have no issue with a smaller creature. However, you would be wrong. It is completely unnatural for a bird to be three feet tall. It is horrifying.
Let me take you back to St. Patrick's day. I arrived at school and went to walk in my usual door, when I noticed Dear Mr. Crane standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR! Now, being that I am mortified of this giant creature there was no way I would be the one shooing him out of the way. That would require walking right at him which would mean the only place for him to fly would be toward me. I don't think so. My logical course of action was to continue walking to the lower level entrance down a large hill and completely out of the direction I was going. I didn't mind however, it was a better alternative than duking it out with the crane. Now for the bad luck part-I was on after school supervision that afternoon when I a student push another student into me and caused me to re-injure a sprained ankle. Case of bad luck number one.
I would have normally assumed these were isolated incidents until yesterday....
I was driving home from a soccer game and talking to my mother on the phone when a rock came flying out of nowhere and chipped my windshield. Now this normally wouldn't be more than a horribly annoying bit of bad luck, except that last week due to hail damage I just had the windshield replaced on my car. After having my new windshield for five days, I now have a fairly sizable chip in the glass. It wasn't long after this occurred that I recalled yesterday morning the crane was basking in the sunshine in front of my door again. He was then chased down the hill after me by a student (we all know I wouldn't have attempted to go through the door). Now, I know logically the bird wasn't chasing me as much as it was being chased, but nevertheless, it was horrifying.
These two incidents of bad luck are proof that seeing the crane outside of my entrance into school. is a bad omen. Being that this is the case, I have no decided to always use the front entrance, where the crane does not fly, sit, land, bask, or do any other crane-esque activities. Please beware of Sandhill Cranes, my bad luck could rub off on you.
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